Is biting your nose a love or a pervert?

Is biting your nose a love or a pervert?

I am very eager to have a mentally healthy man to care for, to hug my beloved man to sleep every night, and to lose myself occasionally romantically under the attack of flowers.

But everything is out of reach for me.

Between love and desire, love and hate, law and morality, I can’t make the right choice. I wander between advance and retreat every day.

I remind myself almost always that I must divorce him. I am still young and should have a happy life that really belongs to me.

  In Shenzhen in early 1995, I had been a cosmetic salesperson for less than a year. It was hard work, but there was nothing to gain.

Every day I think about a question: How can I make a lot of money?

At that time, making money was almost my only dream.

  As soon as the MLM activity was heated up in Shenzhen in 1996, I was tempted to get excited. I fantasized about developing a large number of offline lines, and then asked them to help me make money and buy a car or house in one or two years.

In April, I joined the MLM army outside the customs.

  In fact, the people who do MLM are eager to get rich and have too many fantasies and chaos. Most people can be said to be insane, they are talking big, saying how much money this person makes every day, that person has bought a car, othersPeople are also preparing to provide housing. In fact, none of the 100 people who do MLM make big money.

  In order to survive, many people have to lie to relatives and friends, and there are no relatives and friends in Shenzhen, and they do everything possible to draw strangers into the water and develop into their own offline.

It was in this situation that I met my husband.

  At that time, he was unemployed, looking for work everywhere. When I knew him, he was emaciated, his face was emaciated. I didn’t want to talk to him about friends, but I wanted to use him and develop him into an offline line as my tool for making money.
I thought at the time that someone like him who was unemployed wanted a job and dreamed of making a lot of money, so I became gentle with him and was ambiguous in words.

  Unexpectedly, he was very cunning. I didn’t want to catch this fish, but he was caught by him.

  At that time, I often took him to classes in the evening, and he went there happily, but no matter how I tried to convince him, he never bought MLM supplies and did not join our “rat society”.

  I didn’t catch this fish, but after a while, the two became familiar.

During that time, I didn’t earn a penny, life was very hard, and I was squeezed in a small house with a few friends.

Especially in summer, the air is very bad, and my heart is very uncomfortable.

And he rented a room by himself, and after many hints from him, I slept with him confusedly.

  In Shenzhen, there are no reasons for many people to live together, and sometimes they accidentally sleep next to each other.

This is the case for a few girls I know, which may be a special scenic line of immigrant cities.

  Women are not the same as men. After men and women cohabit, there can be no real feelings, and once women have physical contact with men, they will have feelings, and they will feel conflicted.

Therefore, although I have never promised to marry him, I seem to be inseparable from him.

This cohabitation has dragged on until 1999.

  All mothers in the world are the same. They always worry that their daughter will not marry when they reach the age of marriage.

My mother did the same, urging me to get married all day.

No way, in June 1999, I finally got a marriage certificate with my cohabiting boyfriend, but my mother wished.

  My marriage is like a house of mice. I did n’t do weddings, I did n’t invite my colleagues to eat wedding candy, and I did n’t let anyone know. No one except the civil affairs staff and the parents of both of us knew that I was married.

This hidden pain has been buried till now.

  My husband graduated with a bachelor’s degree, and later he got a good job in a large foreign-funded company. His salary is very high. I also did a lot of business in insurance companies.

Our economic situation is gradually getting richer.

But at this time his mental illness began to manifest gradually.

  We rarely share the same room because of his poor physical condition and physical problems that are often difficult to detect.

In fact, it wasn’t that he didn’t want to have the same room, but that he was more than capable.

So he was afraid to lose me.

A very healthy woman, obese for a long time, is very distressed, and this distress is also a kind of unspeakable. Because I cannot express, my mood often becomes very irritable.

In this way, we often quarreled as soon as we spoke.  First of all, after a quarrel, he blamed himself on the surface and a kind of revenge and destruction in his heart. He wanted to get me forever and destroy my most beautiful place. This kind of psychology gradually turned into a pathological action.

  What I am most satisfied with is my nose, because my nose is very tall and pretty. Almost everyone sees that they are very beautiful. He also thinks that my nose is very beautiful.

It may be the thought in his mind: destroy me the best place to have me for a long time.

So he often bit my nose secretly while waiting for me to fall asleep in the middle of the night.

  At first, I thought he was unintentional or joking, but every time I bite my teeth deep, it wasn’t like joking, I found out he had a mental illness.

  Once I had a quarrel, and I wanted to test him, I pretended to be sleeping intentionally early in the evening.

By the middle of the night, he secretly touched my side without turning on the light, and opened his mouth fiercely to bite my nose. As soon as I opened my eyes, I found that his revenge and destructive expression was like killing the enemyLife, I felt very scared, and since then, I dare not sleep with him after a fight.

Sometimes, I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night, and sometimes even have nightmares.

  In 2001, we started an electronics company.

He refused to let me go to work elsewhere, forcing me to work with him and sitting in the same office.

If I don’t stay with him, the quarrel will be even worse. He will say that my life is unchecked and I often go home in the middle of the night. It must be a leg with the man in it.

  For insurance business, who can not accompany customers to sing, sing, and soak?

Sometimes I even had to be a little ambiguous with customers, but I never really deviated.

I couldn’t stand his suspicions and doubts, so I resigned and worked with him.

He is the general manager and I am the vice president.

  After staying together every day, I gradually suppressed depression.

Because I always have to be careful when talking, sometimes the recipient’s call from the previous customer always has to answer secretly, for fear that he said that my relationship with others is abnormal.

From the perspective of others, my boss should live a happy life, but in fact, I am more and more afraid of going to work in my company, and sometimes I feel trembling when I think of it.

I am often in a daze or amaze myself so that sometimes my behavior is a bit abnormal.

  I want to save his mental health. I want him to see a psychologist. The strange thing is that he always denies it. Every time he bites my nose, he always bites and never bites me, even saying he didn’t touch me.body of.

He also said that he had no mental illness, and it was me who should see a psychologist.

  Since there is no way to save, only live separately.

I now sleep in a room by myself, and every night before going to bed I will lock the door to death, afraid that he would come in at midnight.

  This kind of hidden pain is unconsciously trying to find a way out of emotions. I have contacted several excellent men consciously or unconsciously. I like them very much. They also like me, but whenever I cook raw rice,For a moment, I would suddenly wake up in pain, and I was afraid that the relationship would not end, and I was afraid that I would fall into a dilemma in the future.

  I am very eager to have a mentally healthy man to care for, to hug my beloved man to sleep every night, and to lose myself occasionally romantically under the attack of flowers.
But everything is out of reach for me.

Between love and desire, love and hate, law and morality, I can’t make the right choice. I wander between advance and retreat every day.

  I remind myself almost always that I must divorce him. I am still young and should have a happy life that really belongs to me.
But I still have a faint fantasy. If my husband suddenly wakes up, he can suddenly find out and acknowledge his mental illness, and treat it well. I can accept him and start again.

  In this way, I can swear to divorce, without the courage to take the first step.

In the state of depression and depression, I have to worry about the behavior of my husband who is more serious than my mental illness. The days are really hard, just like the insomniac people are waiting for the long night, and I do n’t know when it will dawn.